Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Making waves on Reddit:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Seen just now on Discord:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Trending via Messenger:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Spotted on Threads:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Going viral on Discord:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Spotted on Slack:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Going viral on Threads:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Trending via Pinterest:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

0
Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day test of true love – swapping phones on Valentine's Day! 📱💘 Let's see if your significant other can resist the urge to snoop through your texts and selfies. May the trust be ever in your favor! 😆 #ValentinesDayHumor"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Messenger this month:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

22 shares on X this month:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

34 shares on X this month:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Live now on Messenger:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Breaking via WeChat:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Trending via Facebook:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Spotted on Reddit:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Live now on TikTok:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Going viral on X:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴