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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Just landed via TikTok:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Trending via Pinterest:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Just shared via Messenger:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Spreading quickly via X:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Spotted on Messenger:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

2 months ago

0

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day test of true love – swapping phones on Valentine's Day! 📱💘 Let's see if your significant other can resist the urge to snoop through your texts and selfies. May the trust be ever in your favor! 😆 #ValentinesDayHumor"

activity, day, fun, fun activity, funny suggestion, humor, love, phone, relationship, relationship humor, suggestion, switch, switch phone, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

0

2 months ago

ambitious, appearance, compliment, face, humor, i, irony, killer, meant, personality, serial, serial killer
If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

0

2 months ago

account, Airbnb, behavior, doing, humor, media, mischief, out-of-character, personality, rent, rental, social, social media, wild, wild behavior
Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

0

2 months ago

bootylicious, circumstances, culture, fergalicious, humor, pop, pop culture, things, unfortunate, wordplay
Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

0

2 months ago

comfort, enjoy, home, humor, relaxation, self-acceptance, ugly
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

0

2 months ago

alphabet, confusion, humor, i, joke, learning, math, stopped, understanding
I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

0

2 months ago

18th, 18th century, casual, century, devotion, eternal, fall, i, love, relationship, vampire

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

70 shares on X this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

92 shares on Telegram this month:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

80 shares on X this month:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m running out of people I like.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Seen just now on Slack:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Trending via X:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

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