Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Spotted on Threads:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Going viral on Reddit:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Spotted on Telegram:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Just shared via Threads:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Spotted on YouTube:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Going viral on Messenger:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

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Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day test of true love – swapping phones on Valentine's Day! 📱💘 Let's see if your significant other can resist the urge to snoop through your texts and selfies. May the trust be ever in your favor! 😆 #ValentinesDayHumor"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

34 shares on Twitch this month:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

64 shares on X this month:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

95 shares on Threads this month:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Making waves on Twitch:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Just landed via Snapchat:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Spotted on Discord:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Seen just now on Facebook:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

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