Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,831

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Just landed via Twitch:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Live now on YouTube:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"No bribes yet? Maybe it's time to up your corruption game and aim for that power position! 💰💼😂 #CorruptAndWilling"

am, bribe, corrupt, humor, i, joke, maybe, me, need, politics, position, power, seriously, shame, tried

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

0

2 months ago

enough, got, humor, irony, me, never, parents, politics, rich, socialist, upset, wealth
Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulting, appreciate, being, choices, headspace, humor, i, job, just, life, life choices, opportunity, position, responsibility, right, stepping, stepping down, thinking
Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, excuse, humor, me, procrastination, self-deprecation, today
screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

0

2 months ago

close, close friend, friend, friends, interaction, media, online, online interaction, own, posting, prank, screenshot, social, social media, story
Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

0

2 months ago

animal, better, cow, humor, moose, name
Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

0

2 months ago

authenticity, fake, humor, identity, lock, lock screen, media, people, recognition, screen, social, social media, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

33 shares on Facebook this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

94 shares on Reddit this month:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Shared recently on Reddit:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Shared recently on Slack:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Seen just now on Discord:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Just shared via WeChat:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Breaking via Threads:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Spotted on Telegram:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨