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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,493

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Breaking via Telegram:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Seen just now on Reddit:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Trending via Messenger:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Making waves on Reddit:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Trending via Reddit:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Just shared via Slack:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote highlighting humor's power over jokes, with a witty and lighthearted vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, isn't that the ultimate comedy plot twist? 😂 It's like watching a hilarious blooper reel while the actual script leaves you scratching your head. 🤔 Who knew that laughter could have a mind of its own and steal the show from the punchline? 🎭 Just goes to show that sometimes the best humor is the unexpected kind! 😄

comedy, experience, fun, funnier, humor, joke, laugh, punchline, reaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Slack this month:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

75 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

81 shares on Slack this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the hot in psychotic.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Seen just now on Telegram:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Just landed via Twitch:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Going viral on Discord:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

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