Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?
  • Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.
  • Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.
  • If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.
  • Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.
  • Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.