Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.
  • I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”
  • It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.
  • Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.
  • If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.
  • You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.