Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Trending via Discord:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Shared recently on Discord:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Going viral on X:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Seen just now on Discord:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Just landed via Instagram:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, I'll make sure to bark up the right tree with that message! 🐾🐶 Woof woof from the canine communicator!"

animal, communication, dog, humor, i, joke, pet, tell, woof

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

0

2 months ago

back, braces, dental, done, having, humor, i, irony, perfect, perfect tooth, point, reason, self-image, smile, teeth, tooth
I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

0

2 months ago

couple, exhaustion, humor, i, just, lie, lie down, need, procrastination, rest, year’s
Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

0

2 months ago

air, airplane, am, box, craving, flying, giant, i, juice, metal, metal box, question, stay, tomato, tomato juice, weird, weird question, why
Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

0

2 months ago

career, education, fun, give, humor, irony, job, jobs, joke, people, prank, study
The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

0

2 months ago

accident, clumsiness, drop, fast, humor, i, mishap, moment, phone, reflex, slam, wall
A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

0

2 months ago

cultural, dialect, every, humor, people, regional, sarcasm, southern, Southern humor, time, type, y’all

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

44 shares on Slack this month:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Live now on WeChat:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Just shared via TikTok:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Going viral on Slack:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Just shared via WeChat:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Just landed via Instagram:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨