Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.
  • You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.
  • Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.
  • People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?
  • Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.
  • Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.