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Commentary:
Isn't it just fabulous being a procrastinator? 🕰️💡 Those terrible ideas never stand a chance, they're too busy chilling on the back burner! 🤣 #ProcrastinationWin

bad, bad idea, being, cool, cool thing, decision, delay, ever, ground, humor, idea, ideas, procrastinator, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

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2 months ago

chore, cooking, dishes, eating, food, humor, kitchen, making, meal, struggle, time
For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

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5 hours ago

act, again, always, breakup, contact, final, final act, humor, i, irony, love, memory, never, think
I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

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2 months ago

body, body crack, body joke, chiropractor, crack, glow, glow stick, humor, i, joke, playful, relaxation, relief, stick, stress, stress relief, want
I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

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2 months ago

appearance, centaur, expression, extension, gender, hair, hair extension, hairstyle, humor, i, know, want, women
It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

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2 months ago

advice, failing, hobby, humor, job, just, life, people, sarcasm, tell, where
How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

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2 months ago

before, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, motivation, say, sit-up, six-pack, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I love it when God gives me money.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Making waves on Facebook:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Going viral on WeChat:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Shared recently on Slack:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Just landed via Reddit:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Freshly posted on Slack:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Live now on Slack:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨