Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Just shared via Slack:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Making waves on Telegram:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Live now on Discord:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

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Commentary:
"The end of Twitter is like a never-ending journey to Mordor… Did Tolkien forget to include this in 'The Return of the King'? 🤔🧙‍♂️✨ #TwitterQuest"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Slack this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

41 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,742

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Shared recently on TikTok:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Just shared via X:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Broadcasted on X:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Live now on Pinterest:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

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