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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. Itโ€™s science.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Threads:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Shared recently on Discord:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Breaking via Telegram:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Back in the good old days, we didnโ€™t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Why would I work from home when I donโ€™t even work from work?

Trending via Threads:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Witty quote comparing facial features to windows, garden, and pothole for humorous effect.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the eyes shining bright like glittering windows to the soul ๐Ÿ’ซ… but oh my! That robust mustache proclaiming 'welcome to the front garden' ๐ŸŒณ… and that big pothole of a mouth crying out for some city council intervention ๐Ÿšง! A charming mix of character traits indeed! ๐Ÿ˜„"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

30 shares on Discord this month:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

What doesnโ€™t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you arenโ€™t the one paying for it. Stop!

93 shares on X this month:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

If we breakup because you โ€œwanna focus on school,โ€ I better see you in Harvard.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just say, โ€œMy future husband would never do that,โ€ and move on.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

As highly as itโ€™s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m not saving daylight. Iโ€™m the one that needs saving.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Panda bears are proof that itโ€™s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as youโ€™re super adorable.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has shared:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Spotted on YouTube:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? Youโ€™re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Shared recently on Threads:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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