The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

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If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

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Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

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I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

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Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

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I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.