The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.