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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

40 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Breaking via WeChat:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Trending via X:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Going viral on Telegram:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Going viral on WeChat:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Just shared via Twitch:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Just landed via Threads:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Just shared via Slack:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

6 months ago

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

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Commentary:
Looks like there's a podcast microphone in one hand and a questionable opinion in the other 🎙️🙈 Who knew that an abundance of podcast gear would lead to a surplus of hot takes? 🔥 Maybe it's time for a mandatory filter for those recording booths! 🤔🎧 #PodcastPandemonium

access, easy, equipment, humor, media, people, podcast, problem, technology, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

40 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Trending via Pinterest:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Just landed via Telegram:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Trending via WeChat:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Shared recently on Facebook:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Spotted on Messenger:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Just shared via Slack:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Live now on WeChat:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Spotted on Facebook:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

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