Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.
  • I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.
  • I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.
  • People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.
  • I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.
  • I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.