Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Seen just now on Discord:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Making waves on Messenger:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Trending via WeChat:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Just shared via Messenger:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Spotted on WeChat:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

2 months ago

0

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'how is work' small talk question strikes again! 🙄 Yes, Steve, work is just a magical land of rainbows and unicorns where everyday is a picnic. 🦄🌈 Don't mind me, just living the dream in my cubicle. 😂 #adulting"

annoyance, bro, daily, daily grind, else, expectations, frustration, grind, humor, i, know, me, question, response, say, want, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

0

12 hours ago

accessory, around, carrying, dog, dogs, fashion, fashion accessory, humor, i, nostalgia, pet, pet accessory, purse, terrible, tiny, tiny dog, whatever, woman, women, wonder
God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

0

2 months ago

American, Americans, geography, God, humor, irony, joke, learn, learning, war
I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

0

2 months ago

age, childhood, childhood memory, dollars, financial, financial perspective, five, i, innocence, lot, memory, miss, money, nostalgia, perspective, thought, whatever, youth
My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

0

4 weeks ago

boyfriend, breakup, crop, dad, end, family, humor, joke, new, photo, picture, sister, stand, told, whenever
I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

0

4 months ago

bridge, burning, conflict, humor, i, last, last bridge, love, me, relationship, revenge, sarcasm, smell, someone
The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

0

2 months ago

connection, generation, headphone, headphones, heartbreak, know, loose, loose connection, music, never, new, nostalgia, relationship, technology, wired, wired headphone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

33 shares on Threads this month:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

16 shares on Slack this month:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,637

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Shared recently on Instagram:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Seen just now on Threads:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Spotted on TikTok:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

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