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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Going viral on Instagram:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Just landed via Discord:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Just landed via YouTube:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Just shared via YouTube:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Trending via Pinterest:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Making waves on Slack:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

2 months ago

0

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like it's that time of year again when women transform into stylish scarves with just a hint of human underneath. 🧣💁‍♀️ Who needs clothes when you can just wrap yourself up in scarves for all occasions, right? Stay toasty and fabulous, ladies! 💃 #ScarfSeasonFashionistas

accessory, back, fashion, humor, scarf, season, style, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

0

2 months ago

art, attraction, compliment, full, humor, love, room, stare, still
I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

0

2 months ago

awareness, care, confusion, humor, i, idea, me, pretend, stuff, time
I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

0

2 months ago

excitement, humor, i, last, lottery, money, night, peasants, scratch-off, win
He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

0

2 months ago

comedy, delicious, delusional, humor, i, me, meant, play, play on words, pun, think, wit, wordplay, words
People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

0

2 months ago

bad, commentary, humor, indoors, introversion, isolation, people, social, social commentary, stay, talk
I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, insecurity, man, me, relationship, self-esteem, shy, stare, ugly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Facebook this month:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

91 shares on Slack this month:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

This Monday could have been an email.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

64 shares on X this month:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short, flirt with me!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Just landed via WeChat:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Just landed via Threads:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Going viral on TikTok:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Spotted on Twitch:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

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