Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!
  • “And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.
  • Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.
  • They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
  • Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”
  • It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.