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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Just landed via Threads:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Just landed via X:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Trending via X:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Spotted on Facebook:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Trending via WeChat:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Reported on Facebook:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Making waves on Slack:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Seen just now on X:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
📱🥪 "Watching some folks hold their cell phone to their ear is like witnessing a failed attempt at eating a digital sandwich! Maybe they're just hungry for a byte instead? 😄"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Reported on Reddit:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Trending via Instagram:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Trending via Reddit:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Trending via Discord:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Just landed via Telegram:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Going viral on YouTube:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Reported on X:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Making waves on Snapchat:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

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