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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,812

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Just landed via Discord:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Just shared via Twitch:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Trending via Snapchat:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Going viral on Discord:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Spotted on Reddit:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Trending via Threads:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

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There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, talk about some stiff galactic competition! 👑🌌 Miss Universe better put on her interstellar crown and sash because she's got some serious cosmic competition out there! 😄🌠 #OutOfThisWorldBeauty #MissUniverseGalacticEdition

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Breaking via Threads:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Spotted on Telegram:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Making waves on X:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

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