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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Seen just now on Threads:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Going viral on Instagram:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Shared recently on Messenger:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Just landed via WeChat:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Just shared via Facebook:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

1 week ago

Witty quote pondering the universe and Miss Universe’s impressive achievement.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, talk about some stiff galactic competition! 👑🌌 Miss Universe better put on her interstellar crown and sash because she's got some serious cosmic competition out there! 😄🌠 #OutOfThisWorldBeauty #MissUniverseGalacticEdition

achievement, galaxy, humor, i, just, miss, Miss Universe, space, stars, universe, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Slack this month:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

32 shares on Discord this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

81 shares on Instagram this month:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

63 shares on Discord this month:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,755

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Just landed via YouTube:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

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