Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

4,022

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Trending via Messenger:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Going viral on Facebook:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Going viral on Messenger:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Spotted on Threads:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

2 months ago

0

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the age-old tradition of spreading malice instead of love! 💔😈 Who needs roses and chocolates when you can broadcast your carefully curated shots of side-eye and eye rolls? 📸😜 Just make sure to use the right filter to really capture that "frenemy drama" essence! #AntiValentinesDay #InstagramWarfare

celebration, day, enemy, humor, Instagram, love, opposite, photos, post, rivalry, should, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

0

5 months ago

40, age, enough, frustration, humor, joke, lowered, needs, retirement, retirement age, work
“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, black, black sheep, contact, denial, everyone, eye, eye contact, family, humor, i, relationships, say, sheep
Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

0

2 months ago

answer, full, humor, idiot, idiots, life, question, questions, sarcasm
The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

0

2 months ago

3, am, best, contact, dreams, fantasy, humor, humor quote, imagination, late, late night, me, meet, night
Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, extra, extra weight, humor, i, image, leave, love, me, motivation, relationship, self-deprecation, telling, thinking, too, weight
So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

0

3 months ago

car, car crash, crash, crazy, daily, daily life, day, dentist, every, fascism, frustration, humor, i, irony, just, life, living, man, motion, slow, slow motion, still, through

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

64 shares on Slack this month:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

40 shares on Slack this month:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

20 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,961

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Breaking via Threads:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Just shared via Slack:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Shared recently on X:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Shared recently on Messenger:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴