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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

26 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Spotted on Twitch:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Just landed via Slack:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Making waves on Discord:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Making waves on WeChat:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

6 months ago

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

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Commentary:
Oh, the age-old tradition of spreading malice instead of love! 💔😈 Who needs roses and chocolates when you can broadcast your carefully curated shots of side-eye and eye rolls? 📸😜 Just make sure to use the right filter to really capture that "frenemy drama" essence! #AntiValentinesDay #InstagramWarfare

celebration, day, enemy, humor, Instagram, love, opposite, photos, post, rivalry, should, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

26 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Just shared via Twitch:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Going viral on Facebook:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Making waves on Twitch:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Making waves on Snapchat:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Live now on Messenger:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Seen just now on Slack:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

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