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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Seen just now on Telegram:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Going viral on Telegram:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Trending via TikTok:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Making waves on TikTok:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Live now on Threads:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Seen just now on Threads:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Breaking via WeChat:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like that poor fat man is trapped like a sardine in a can! 🤭🐟 Let him out for some air, or better yet, some cake! 🍰😂

body, body positivity, dying, fat, fat man, get out, humor, inside, man, me, positivity, self-image

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

0

2 months ago

achievement, class, eye, eye roll, graduation, humor, parenting, roll, sarcasm, top, tween, university
My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

0

2 months ago

being, cost, expensive, family, getting, humor, me, nice, parenting, relationship, teen
I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, benefit, boat, friend, friends, friendship, fun, home, homes, i, leisure, looking, luxury, mean, pool, pools, summer, vacation, vacation home
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

0

2 months ago

animal, crafting, found, humor, i, just, knit, learning, sheep, surprise, sweater, wool
Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

0

4 months ago

around, confusion, even, ever, humor, mind, overthinking, self-reflection, sitting, thinking, why, wonder
It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

0

2 months ago

chair, humor, okay, relatable, self-deprecation, too, unstable, wobbly, wobbly chair

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

22 shares on X this month:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

42 shares on Discord this month:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

33 shares on Threads this month:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Just landed via Discord:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Going viral on Messenger:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Going viral on Threads:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Making waves on Discord:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Seen just now on X:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Spreading quickly via X:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨