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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

1 minute ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Just shared via Instagram:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Going viral on Slack:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Going viral on Discord:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Live now on YouTube:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Jan 24, 2025

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the adrenaline rush of a Bull-dle de France! 🐂🚴‍♂️ Just when you thought the Tour de France couldn't get any more exciting! Get ready to pedal for your life and dodge some horns along the way. Who needs traditional cycling challenges when you can have a wild animal chase instead? 🤣 #BullsOnBikes"

activity, bull, combine, competition, de, event, france, humor, next, running, should, sport, tour, Tour de France, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

1 minute ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Trending via Discord:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Spotted on Messenger:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Seen just now on YouTube:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Seen just now on Threads:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Just shared via Discord:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Reported on Reddit:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

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