Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the dream self-checkout – the ultimate level of laziness achieved! 🤣🛒 Can we also add an option for someone to carry my groceries to the car too? 🚗💁‍♂️ #TheLazyShopperStruggle"

bag, convenience, else, humor, invention, items, scan, self-checkout, shopping, should, someone, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Trying is the first step toward failure.

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2 months ago

failure, first step, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, step, trying
I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

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2 months ago

always, catchphrase, expression, humor, i, surprise, whoop
Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

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2 months ago

Adam, babysitter, biblical, eve, even, humor, i, irony, parenting, sometimes, think
I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

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2 months ago

degree, humor, i, irony, only, preference, warm, weather
Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

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2 months ago

humor, irony, offended, relationship, someone, treat
There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

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2 months ago

activity, adults, Amazon, driver, fun, fun activity, gift, gift giving, giving, holidays, humor, lap, list, mall, should, sit, tell, want, wish, wish list

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Slack this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

99 shares on X this month:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

74 shares on Slack this month:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

49 shares on X this month:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Going viral on Reddit:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Just landed via Discord:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Going viral on Facebook:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Just landed via TikTok:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Shared recently on X:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Just shared via Telegram:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trying is the first step toward failure.

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨