Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.
  • I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.
  • I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.
  • Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.
  • When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.
  • Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.