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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has copied:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has shared:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has shared:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has copied:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has downloaded:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the β€œat your age…”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has copied:

Commenting β€œwhat about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on WeChat:

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Making waves on WeChat:

β€œYou smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Just landed via X:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Just shared via Facebook:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Breaking via Twitch:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Making waves on Twitch:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Going viral on Twitch:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

This Monday could have been an email.

Witty text about Monday’s laziness, humorously suggesting it could have been an email.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, Monday. The day where people contemplate how many unnecessary meetings could have been condensed into a single email πŸ“§πŸ’Ό #SpareUsTheSmallTalk"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

22 shares on X this month:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

11 shares on Discord this month:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Responding to all selfies with β€œthis should work.”

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

62 shares on X this month:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Bragging about how I’ve β€œreally turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has copied:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has copied:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has viewed:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Twitch:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Freshly posted on Discord:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Trending via Slack:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Making waves on Discord:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

β€œDon’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Live now on YouTube:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

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