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Commentary:
"Watch out for those rebellious toasters! 🍞🔥 Who knew our breakfast appliances held such power? 😆 Better keep an eye on your toast – you never know when it might decide to assert its independence! 🤖✨"

appliance, autonomy, dial, free, free will, humor, kitchen, little, toaster

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

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1 month ago

advice, degree, education, humor, ignore, ignore love, important, love, master’s degree, Masters, priorities, pursue, twenty
Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

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3 months ago

autocomplete, disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, movie, name, Netflix, streaming, technology, tell, typing
My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

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2 months ago

aspiration, crime, day, detective, humor, murder, mystery, solve, train, whodunit
What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

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2 months ago

boot, bootlicker, consequence, fail, humor, irony, justice, karma, punishment, sarcasm, too, understand
Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

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2 months ago

bright, dark, day, humor, light, moon, night, opinion, perspective, sun, unpopular, us, useful, usefulness
If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

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5 months ago

desire, gift, humor, moon, relationship, romantic, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Twitch this month:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

27 shares on Slack this month:

I remember sex. That was cool.

14 shares on Threads this month:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Making waves on WeChat:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Spotted on Instagram:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Going viral on X:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Just shared via Slack:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Making waves on Instagram:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨