Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Commentary:
“Raising toddlers: where every day is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and your last nerve is on the menu! 🤪🎢🍳 #ParentingStruggles”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

    Commentary:
    🌷💐💌 “Ladies, if you find yourself in a floral mystery today, don’t worry – it’s just me spreading some anonymous flower power! Who needs a card when the blossoms speak for themselves? 😉”

  • Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

    Commentary:
    Love is patient, but a free bar test our patience faster than a wedding toast 🥂😅 #PrioritiesShiftWhenDrinksAreInvolved”

  • My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone found the perfect gift-wrapping solution for their husband’s misdeeds! 🎁🌲 Who needs reindeer games when you’ve got remote control revenge tactics? 😆 #HolidayPranks #RelationshipGoals

    Fun Fact or Trivia:
    Did you know that the tradition of hanging stockings by the fireplace comes from a legend about Saint Nicholas? 🧦🔥 Legend has it that he gave gold coins to three sisters by dropping them down the chimney, and they landed in stockings that were hung to dry.

  • Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the lost art of in-person meetings – where bagels are the unspoken currency and gossip flows like a never-ending stream of office drama 💬🥯 Who knew an hour-long chat could have saved us from inbox overload! #BringBackBagelMeetings”

  • I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

    Commentary:
    “Well, at least you excelled in trying to do nothing! 👏 But hey, looks like you accidentally stumbled upon a talent for doing things wrong! 😄 It’s a skill not everyone can boast about! 🤷‍♂️”

  • Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

    Commentary:
    “Buying house plants is like playing Russian roulette with greenery! 🌱💥 Maybe it’s time to invest in a cactus – those things are the true survivors of the plant world! 🌵😂”