Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.
  • I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.
  • You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.
  • Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.
  • I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.
  • A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.