Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.
  • Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.
  • How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.
  • Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.
  • So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.