Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Breaking via Discord:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Live now on Messenger:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Spotted on Threads:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

0
Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐶🐱 "Watching Tom and Jerry as a kid really messed with my understanding of the animal kingdom! Turns out, it's the 'innocent' dogs who are the real bullies to the sophisticated felines. Who knew that cartoon chaos could lead to such insightful revelations? Time for some serious pet therapy sessions! 🙈😂"

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on TikTok this month:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

19 shares on Threads this month:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee is better when you have no work.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,509

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Breaking via Twitch:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Seen just now on X:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Making waves on Instagram:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Trending via Twitch:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Trending via Telegram:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴