Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Making waves on TikTok:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Going viral on X:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Just shared via WeChat:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Going viral on Discord:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Trending via Twitch:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Playful quote about daring stunts, humorously comparing oneself to Tom Cruise's bravery.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Tom Cruise does his own stunts! 🌟💥 Okay cool, but so do I… in my daily quest to avoid folding laundry and tackling the overflowing dishes mountain! 💪😂 #EverydayHero"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

57 shares on Threads this month:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Just shared via X:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Shared recently on Discord:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Just landed via Slack:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Going viral on Instagram:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Trending via Twitch:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴