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Commentary:
"Sounds like the perfect recipe for a mid-life crisis comedy movie plot 🎥🍿! Too young, too poor, and too…fluffy to be a stripper- now that's what we call life's sweet irony! Let's just keep on truckin' and see where the chips fall! 💃🏼💸🍰 #LifeGoals"

age, fat, humor, life, money, move, move on, poor, quit, retire, too, young

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

1 month ago

alien, aliens, conversation, God, gratitude, here, humor, me, over, sci-fi, take, takeover, thank, unexpected
Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

1 month ago

anything, comfort, cozy, fuzzy, fuzzy sock, home, preparedness, ready, relaxation, sock, socks
I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

2 months ago

electricity, embarrassment, everyone, hate, humor, i, live, live wire, shock, skeleton, wire
I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

5 months ago

acceptable, angry, ball, choose, everyone, fast, fast internet, gone, hot, humor, i, internet, night, nocturnal, norms, quiet, shut, silence, sky, social, social norms, socially, sun, understand, why
If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

2 months ago

art, corner, creativity, humor, ID, Michelangelo, painting, self-deprecation, yourself
You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

1 month ago

always, attitude, humor, Monday, mood, smile, smiling, tell, weekday, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Seen just now on Slack:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Going bananas on Reddit:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Trending via Pinterest:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

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Activity Log ✨

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

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Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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