Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

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“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

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Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

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Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

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I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.