Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.
  • If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.
  • You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.
  • Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.
  • Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.
  • I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.