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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Making waves on Telegram:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Just shared via Reddit:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Spreading quickly via X:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Making waves on Slack:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Spotted on Instagram:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about financial caution and regret with playful, witty words.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like those finances needed some serious therapy after that examination! 💸🔍 Taking a deep dive into your bank account can be scarier than watching a horror movie marathon. 😱 Hopefully, next time you tackle those numbers, it won't feel like facing a financial apocalypse! 💥💰

advice, again, budgeting, finances, financial, financial advice, good, humor, i, mistake, money

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

80 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Going viral on TikTok:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Spotted on YouTube:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Trending via YouTube:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Just landed via X:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Spotted on Discord:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

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