Trying is the first step toward failure.

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The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

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Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

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If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

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Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

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Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

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Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

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If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

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Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

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In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.