Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Attempting to transport a pet to bed is akin to persuading a grumpy, stubborn blob of molasses to cooperate 🐱💤 It's a literal struggle of fluff and frustration!

animal, annoyed, bed, carry, humor, liquid, moving, pet, sleep, struggle, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

before, enough, health, humor, i, me, paramedic, pass, pass out, reluctance, save, tomorrow, work, workplace
Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

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2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, every, first time, humor, i, self-awareness, sounds, speak, talk, time, trying
Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

0

2 months ago

advice, crazy, dating, dating advice, humor, personality, relationship, sure, tip
Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

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2 months ago

better, dumb, entertainment, humor, movie, movie rental store, nonsense, nostalgia, opinion, rental, store, stores, streaming, technology
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

0

2 months ago

apology, bathroom, date, exhaust, exhaust fan, fan, funny moment, humor, i, misunderstanding, moment, quiet, realize, sorry
Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

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5 months ago

advice, day, humor, management, mode, morning, panic, rush, start, start day, starting, stop, stress, time, time management

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Threads this month:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Spotted on Facebook:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Trending via Instagram:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Making waves on Facebook:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Making waves on Telegram:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨