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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Going viral on Reddit:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Going viral on Reddit:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Shared recently on Discord:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Twitter: where punctuation and spelling go to die, but hot takes thrive 🔥📱 #GrammarWho? #ShortAndSweet"

communication, grammar, humor, irony, lessons, media, social, social media, teach, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

0

5 months ago

age, aging, amazing, bird-watching, birdwatching, creeps, fast, hobby, humor, nature, older, older age, pastime, surprise
My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

0

2 months ago

anything, ghost, haunted, here, house, housemate, humor, joke, lived, noticed, strange, year’s
If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

0

4 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, Earth, everything, flat, flat earth, gravity, humor, joke, pet, pet behavior, pushed
How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, downtime, follow, great, humor, laziness, nothing, relaxation, rest
When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

0

2 months ago

amusing, animal, animal comparison, chasing, comparison, dance, dance move, dog, humor, i, move, people, quirky, say, self-deprecating, tail, wild, wild dog
I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, channel, comedy, entertainment, humor, planet, pretty, satire, self-awareness, sure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Slack this month:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

32 shares on X this month:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

99 shares on X this month:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

49 shares on Threads this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Spotted on Slack:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Breaking via Reddit:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Just landed via Telegram:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨