Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Going viral on Messenger:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Trending via Threads:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Spotted on X:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Twitter: where punctuation and spelling go to die, but hot takes thrive 🔥📱 #GrammarWho? #ShortAndSweet"

communication, grammar, humor, irony, lessons, media, social, social media, teach, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

0

2 months ago

brag, cashier, checking, checking out, flirt, humor, joke, me, play, play on words, relationship, words
To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

0

4 months ago

budget, frugality, home, humor, just, money, save, saving, saving money, stay, stay-at-home
True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

0

5 months ago

humor, irony, lifelong, peace, possibility, romantic, solitude, true
It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, humor, morning, observation, people, phone, phones, technology, walking
Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

0

2 months ago

asking, extraterrestrial, humor, i, joke, joke about transportation, me, once, rides, sci-fi, space, transportation, UFO
Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

0

2 months ago

around, bluntness, communication, eating, humor, humor about communication, idiom, phrase, sarcasm, saying, stop, whatever, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WeChat this month:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

96 shares on Messenger this month:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Just shared via Slack:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Going viral on Discord:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Going viral on Messenger:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Just landed via TikTok:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨