Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

520 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,113

Funny Quotes Topics

17,264

Funny Quotes Images

15,113

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,079

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Trending via Pinterest:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Trending via Reddit:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Just shared via Telegram:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sane is boring.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the #WWI memes and puns 🤣 The assassination that broke the internet before it was even a thing! #HistoryGoneViral 📱💥"

assassination, best, best day, day, ever, ferdinand, franz, Franz Ferdinand, history, humor, irony, media, meme, shot, social, social media, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

0

2 months ago

emotional, feelings, humor, judgment, let, mood
The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

0

2 months ago

coffee, eating, economy, food, grass, here, humor, joke, matcha, people, satire, tough
Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

3

3 days ago

car, car repair, carey, cd, Christmas, Christmas CD, fine, holiday, holiday music, making, mariah, Mariah Carey, mechanic, music, noise, repair, terrible
“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

0

3 weeks ago

conversation, deep, depth, digging, enjoy, humor, i, meaning, metaphor, sarcasm, shovel, well, wordplay
Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

0

2 months ago

commentary, expression, humor, knowledge, lack, let, media, never, opinion, people, social, social media, strong, Twitter, welcome, where
Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

0

2 months ago

being, challenges, crazy, favorite, favorite things, humor, irony, least, profession, services, social, social services, social worker, things, worker

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

42 shares on X this month:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

95 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Spotted on WeChat:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Trending via Slack:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Spotted on Threads:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Going viral on TikTok:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Just shared via Instagram:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Just shared via Pinterest:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨