Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

359 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,628

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,628

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Just shared via Threads:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Live now on YouTube:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Going bananas on Threads:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the #WWI memes and puns 🤣 The assassination that broke the internet before it was even a thing! #HistoryGoneViral 📱💥"

assassination, best, best day, day, ever, ferdinand, franz, Franz Ferdinand, history, humor, irony, media, meme, shot, social, social media, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

2 months ago

dress, expression, fashion, gender, humor, i, individuality, men, style, weather, women
You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

2 months ago

advice, breakup, broke, couple, Google, humor, relationship, should
I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

2 months ago

apology, debt, humor, i, joke, left, me, money, past, responsibility, sorry
Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

2 months ago

bad, doing, doing nothing, embarrassing, humor, i, insomnia, irony, nothing, sleep, something
Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

2 months ago

artwork, comment, fridge, humor, kid, kids, mean, mean comment, media, parenting, preparation, social, social media, writing
Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

2 months ago

bad, bad boy, boy, day, garbage, garbage day, humor, looking, management, mischief, missed, play, rebellious, rules, today, waste, waste management

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

27 shares on X this month:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

27 shares on X this month:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Going viral on Slack:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Making waves on Reddit:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Just landed via Reddit:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Just shared via Facebook:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Seen just now on Discord:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Shared recently on Discord:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨