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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Going viral on X:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Trending via Twitch:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the #WWI memes and puns 🤣 The assassination that broke the internet before it was even a thing! #HistoryGoneViral 📱💥"

assassination, best, best day, day, ever, ferdinand, franz, Franz Ferdinand, history, humor, irony, media, meme, shot, social, social media, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

0

2 months ago

drink, fact, house, humor, i, logic, much, prove, statement, wine
I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

0

2 months ago

airplane, aviation, bird, cooler, flight, flying, humor, i, think, whimsical, wings
Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

0

2 months ago

big, double, double negative, friendly, grammar, humor, joke, language, linguistic, linguistic rule, negative, punctuation, reminder, rule
Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

0

2 months ago

appointment, doctor, early, hour, humor, irony, late, never, should, tell, time, waiting
I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

0

2 months ago

built, discovery, history, humor, i, internet, invention, irony, pyramids
The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

0

2 months ago

attention, child, comfort, humor, observation, parent, parenting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

30 shares on Slack this month:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Trending via Instagram:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Going viral on YouTube:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Just landed via Reddit:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨