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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

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15,753

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17,766

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Making waves on Twitch:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Breaking via Messenger:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Spotted on Facebook:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Clever and humorous text about confusing communication and accidental word spills.

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Commentary:
Looks like someone dropped a verbal salad all over the floor! 🥗🙊 Next time, use a fork to keep those words in check! 😉🍴

accident, accidentally, around, carrying, conversation, humor, joke, just, meant, misunderstanding, spill, words

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

22 shares on X this month:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

22 shares on Discord this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Going viral on Threads:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Making waves on Discord:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Just shared via Instagram:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Making waves on Reddit:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨