Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of sweet cravings and strategic spousal maneuvers! 🍩🏃‍♂️ Just remember, behind every great donut caper is a supportive partner reluctantly hiding the evidence. 😂 #TeamDonut"

craving, donut, errands, humor, i, last, need, needs, relationship, run, snack, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

0

2 months ago

able, aging, body, change, humor, night, same, self-reflection, stay, stay up, used
Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

0

2 months ago

change, doing, expression, facial, facial change, facial expression, humor, i, joke, just, lighthearted, realization, self-awareness
The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

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2 months ago

activity, drink, leisure, Midwest, nice, nice weather, outdoor, patio, relaxation, social, social activity, soon, urge, weather
You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

0

3 weeks ago

around, cart, guy, guys, humor, nostalgia, push, push cart, railroad, railroad track, seesaw, track, transportation, travel
Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, husband, marriage, me, pray, relationship, struggle
Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

0

2 months ago

freaky, having, humor, intimacy, nasty, person, relationship, same, sex, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

15 shares on Threads this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

49 shares on Facebook this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Spotted on YouTube:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Just landed via Instagram:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨