Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

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Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

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I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

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After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.