Commentary:
Sounds like my car might qualify for a gym membership with all that speeding and stopping! 🚗💨🛑😅
18 Funny gas quotes
Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?
Commentary:
Guess I'm heading to the gas station for compliments and snacks 🚗💨😂💁♀️✨
Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.
Commentary:
The future of makeup: just spritz, shimmer, and sniff your way to fabulous! 💨✨💋
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.
Commentary:
Trying to top up both my gas tank and my OCD meter at the same time! ⛽️😂 #PumpPerfection
Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.
Commentary:
"When your brain's giving you anxiety and your stomach's giving you… something else. 💭💨 #MindFarts"
Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.
Commentary:
"Fueling up for a non-stop flight to the nearest restroom! 🚀💨😅"
Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.
Commentary:
"Talk about believing in miracles! 🙏 Who knew some gas station restrooms could use divine intervention before entering? 😂 Better safe than sorry, right? 💫 #PrayBeforeYouPee"
They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.
Commentary:
"Imagine coming out of a tanning bed looking like a perfectly rotating, golden hotdog 😂🌭! Who needs the beach when you can have this rolling tan experience?! #StayRollinAndTannin"
Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.
Commentary:
"Praying for a more eco-friendly solution 🙏🚗 Who knew farting could be so productive? 💨😄 #NaturalGas #ProblemSolved"
Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.
Commentary:
"Congratulations on achieving adulthood! 🎉 Who knew that deciding on a favorite gas station would be one of life's defining moments? ⛽ It's all about those high-quality snacks and clean restrooms now! 😂 #AdultingGoals"