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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

54 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Making waves on Discord:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Seen just now on X:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Spotted on X:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

6 months ago

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

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Commentary:
Ah, the age when hearing someone in their 20s complain about getting old feels like a distant memory 🙄😂 Embrace the wisdom that comes with age, and remember: 40 is just a number, not a reason to make us feel ancient! 🎉 #AgeIsJustANumber #FeelingYoungAtHeart

40s, age, aging, every, humor, Jesus, person, reaction, response, welcome, younger, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

54 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Shared recently on Reddit:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Trending via X:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Trending via Slack:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Shared recently on Instagram:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

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