Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Just landed via Telegram:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Breaking via Discord:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Spreading quickly via X:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Breaking via WeChat:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Just shared via Twitch:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

2 weeks ago

Witty text about aging humorously responding to younger people's comments.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the age when hearing someone in their 20s complain about getting old feels like a distant memory 🙄😂 Embrace the wisdom that comes with age, and remember: 40 is just a number, not a reason to make us feel ancient! 🎉 #AgeIsJustANumber #FeelingYoungAtHeart

40s, age, aging, every, humor, Jesus, person, reaction, response, welcome, younger, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on X this month:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Spotted on Messenger:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Breaking via Messenger:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Just shared via YouTube:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Breaking via Reddit:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴