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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something Iโ€™ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has downloaded:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today couldโ€™ve been Friday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on LinkedIn:

โ€œIโ€™m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.โ€

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Spotted on Reddit:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Making waves on Facebook:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Just landed via TikTok:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Just landed via Discord:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Going viral on TikTok:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Iโ€™ve cut my fingernails too short and now I canโ€™t open my shower gel. Whatโ€™s the point of being well-groomed if I canโ€™t smell like mangos?

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.
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Commentary:
"Just remember, that perfectly contoured makeup can only do so much when faced with a bad case of the Monday blues ๐ŸŒง๏ธ๐Ÿ’„ #BeautyIsSkinDeep"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Iโ€™m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldnโ€™t have.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Iโ€™m not good at solving Pi, but Iโ€™m really good at eating it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what theyโ€™re for.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Some people donโ€™t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that Iโ€™d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Live now on X:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I donโ€™t wanna party like itโ€™s 1999, I want to pay my bills like itโ€™s 1999.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Going viral on Threads:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Spotted on Facebook:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

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