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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

10 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Trending via Threads:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Just landed via Instagram:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Going viral on Instagram:

They expect me to work at work.

Trending via Facebook:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Spotted on Discord:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Just landed via Discord:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

6 months ago

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

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Commentary:
Well, well, well, if it isn't the spiciest take on the condiment game! 🌶️🔥 Looks like someone's burning up with desire for some variety in their life. 900 more ways to taste the same thing? That's one way to turn up the heat on the culinary scene! 🔥🌶️ Who knew hot sauce could bring out the saucy side in all of us? 😉

absurdity, company, criticism, flavor, food, hot, hot sauce, humor, i, making, need, sauce, taste, thing, variety

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

10 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Spotted on Telegram:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Trending via Instagram:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Reported on TikTok:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Trending via Reddit:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Just shared via Facebook:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

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