Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 15, 2026

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Shared recently on Discord:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Just shared via Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Spotted on Slack:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Trending via Threads:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Going viral on Facebook:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Just shared via X:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, if it isn't the spiciest take on the condiment game! 🌶️🔥 Looks like someone's burning up with desire for some variety in their life. 900 more ways to taste the same thing? That's one way to turn up the heat on the culinary scene! 🔥🌶️ Who knew hot sauce could bring out the saucy side in all of us? 😉

absurdity, company, criticism, flavor, food, hot, hot sauce, humor, i, making, need, sauce, taste, thing, variety

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

4 weeks ago

amusement, bed, bed chamber, chamber, enter, flirtation, humor, jester, me, medieval
The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

3 months ago

aging, body, body part, changes, day, getting, getting older, humor, i, just, less, life, life changes, older, randomness, surprise
I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

4 months ago

angel, conclusion, guardian, guardian angel, humor, me, possessive, protection
Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

2 weeks ago

enough, everything, God, health, humor, mental, mental health, schizophrenia, schizophrenic, sign
Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

2 months ago

angel, example, heaven, humor, joke, life, me, office, work
Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

2 months ago

being, child, childhood, commercials, complaints, course, give, humor, money, satire, terrible, time, watch, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Slack this month:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Making art is making love to the world.

Just shared via TikTok:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Just shared via Threads:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Just shared via Telegram:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

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