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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,237

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Going bananas on WeChat:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Trending via TikTok:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Going bananas on Reddit:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Going viral on Twitch:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Just landed via X:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Going viral on Facebook:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Breaking via Discord:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seems like a case of divine Photoshop mishap! 🦒💻 Maybe God was experimenting with the 'stretch' tool a bit too enthusiastically 😂"

animal, creation, giraffe, God, humor, joke, mouse, neck, screen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

0

5 months ago

magic, night, nights, sleep, tranquil, voodoo
Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, away, creature, fear, giggle, humor, imagine, ran, run, spider, us
A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

0

2 months ago

app, comedy, dating, Hinder, humor, irony, people, relationships, sabotage, self, self sabotage
Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

0

3 weeks ago

anyone, blast, concern, dad, distraction, else, family, father, full, habit, house, humor, just, loud, phone, phones, video, videos, volume, watch
If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

0

2 months ago

centre, consumerism, humor, mall, observation, sarcasm, shopping, shopping centre, wit
I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

0

2 months ago

bananas, culture, forget, gwen, Gwen Stefani, humor, i, joke, memory, music, never, pop, pop culture, spell, spelling, stefani, thanks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

71 shares on X this month:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Freshly posted on Threads:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Breaking via X:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Trending via Threads:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨