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Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying you go into full-on squirrel mode when you develop a crush? 🐿️🎁 Better hide those acorns and chocolates before she catches you! Who knew courtship could be so… nutty? 🌰😄

affection, dating, gifts, hoarding, humor, i, nuts, relationship, romance, squirrel, start, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

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2 months ago

humor, irony, know, knowledge, medical, medical profession, person, power, profession, super, super power, x-ray
Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

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3 weeks ago

another, humor, just, Monday, reheated, repetition, tired, Tuesday, weekday, workweek
Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

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2 months ago

dedication, dog, dogs, everyone, extravagance, extravagant, hard, humor, lifestyle, pet, shoutout, support, work, works
The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

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2 months ago

activity, affectionate, best, cuddle, done, fun, fun activity, humor, intimacy, lighthearted, ones, relationship, where
Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

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3 months ago

around, attention, communication, humor, life, meeting, meetings, need, please, schedule, try, work, work life
I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

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2 months ago

hearing, humor, i, ID, log, log off, myself, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

67 shares on X this month:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Making waves on Reddit:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Making waves on Messenger:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Going viral on Messenger:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Trending via Threads:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨