Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying you go into full-on squirrel mode when you develop a crush? 🐿️🎁 Better hide those acorns and chocolates before she catches you! Who knew courtship could be so… nutty? 🌰😄

affection, dating, gifts, hoarding, humor, i, nuts, relationship, romance, squirrel, start, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

0

4 weeks ago

apple, Apple Music, called, consumerism, disgusted, ethical, ethical consumerism, fair, fair trade, humor, i, mom-and-pop, music, music platform, platform, sarcasm, service, Spotify, still, streaming, streaming service, trade
Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

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3 months ago

actually, anyone, best, confusion, cooking, food, hope, humor, just, know, language, pronounce, pronunciation, sauce, stumble, through, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce, wordplay
My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

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5 months ago

boyfriend, daughter, family, girlfriend, humor, looking, much, own, parents, proper, relationship, started, take
Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

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2 months ago

before, daily, daily routine, day, draw, etiquette, every, everyone, exaggeration, goodbye, humor, i, interaction, joke, little, me, routine, sarcasm, say, social, social etiquette, social interaction, tick, work, workplace, workplace humor
Things I hate about group work: The group.

0

2 months ago

collaboration, frustration, group, group work, hate, humor, i, sarcasm, teamwork, things, work
“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

0

2 months ago

control, humor, impulse, just, password, security, self-control, too, wait, weakness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

91 shares on X this month:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I have a yearning disability.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Just landed via Discord:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Spotted on WeChat:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Seen just now on Slack:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Things I hate about group work: The group.

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨