When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

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Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”