When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

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Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”