Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Trending via WeChat:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Breaking via Discord:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Shared recently on Twitch:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

2 months ago

0

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like the cicadas have a secret hideout for some well-deserved peace and quiet – unlike us humans, always stuck in the hustle and bustle of daily life! 🦗🤫 Maybe we could all benefit from a cicada retreat for some therapeutic screaming sessions! 🌿🗣️ #CicadaSerenity

cicada, curiosity, funny thought, humor, nature, place, quiet, quiet place, scream, screaming, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

0

2 months ago

calling, compliment, cookie, humor, irony, sarcasm, someone, tough, tough cookie, worst, worst cookie
Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

0

2 months ago

advice, anyone, confusion, General, general knowledge, help, know, knowledge, question, uncertainty
Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

0

5 months ago

beat, break, breakup, coping, heartbreak, humor, love, me, relationship, resilience, sarcasm, someone, witty, worry
My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

0

2 months ago

equipment, exercise, exercise equipment, favorite, favorite part, having, i, Peloton, people, showing, showing off, status, status symbol, symbol, telling, telling people
People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

0

2 months ago

annoying, attract, attraction, capacity, deranged, double, humor, i, opposites, partner, people, relationships, same, say
Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

0

2 months ago

conversation, food, ham, ham sandwich, humor, me, preference, sandwich, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WeChat this month:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

88 shares on Threads this month:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

29 shares on X this month:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

97 shares on X this month:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I am single, please disturb me!

Just landed via Discord:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Trending via Messenger:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Just landed via Threads:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Breaking via Twitch:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Going viral on Telegram:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Just landed via WeChat:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴