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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Trending via Facebook:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Live now on Reddit:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Seen just now on X:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Spotted on Discord:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just remember, it takes talent to excel at being the whole problem! 💁‍♂️💥 Embrace your inner troublemaker and make sure you leave a lasting impact! 😉🔥"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,969

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Just landed via Twitch:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Seen just now on Discord:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Just shared via Reddit:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

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