Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my train wreck of a life.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

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I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

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I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

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Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

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A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

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You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

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To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

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I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

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You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.