Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Breaking via Instagram:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Live now on YouTube:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Just landed via Discord:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Making waves on WeChat:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Just shared via Messenger:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Making waves on WeChat:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

3 weeks ago

Witty text humorously questioning language quirks about bacon and cookies.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Isn't it amusing how bacon isn't baked, and cookies aren't cooked? 🥓🍪 It's like the culinary world is playing a game of word swap with us! Maybe someone should remind bacon to 'get out of the oven,' and cookies to 'sizzle' in the pan! 😄🍳 #FoodForThought"

bacon, bake, cook, cooky, culinary, food, funny observation, humor, language, observation, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

75 shares on Slack this month:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

19 shares on X this month:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Making waves on Slack:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Just landed via TikTok:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Going viral on X:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Spotted on TikTok:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Spotted on Snapchat:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Trending via Messenger:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

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