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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Going viral on Instagram:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Shared recently on Slack:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Live now on Instagram:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Playful quote about pursuing dreams, featuring a humorous twist on craving tacos.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌮 "Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams! Because in the end, tacos are always the answer to life's toughest questions. Embrace the taco-shaped destiny that awaits you!" 🌮✨

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

32 shares on Messenger this month:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Freshly posted on X:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Trending via YouTube:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Breaking via Telegram:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Live now on Messenger:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Just shared via WeChat:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

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