Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Making waves on Facebook:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Live now on WhatsApp:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Making waves on X:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Just landed via WeChat:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs homing pigeons anyway? 🕊️ If it doesn't come back, just call it 'free-spirited' and move on! 🤣 #PigeonHumor"

back, homing, humor, lose, loss, lost, never, normal, pigeon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

0

2 months ago

creation, day, God, household, household tasks, humor, laundry, point, resting, tasks
Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

0

2 months ago

ability, asleep, fall, humor, moving, nap, never, sleep, travel, underestimate, vehicle
It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

0

2 months ago

confusion, days, humor, only, realization, realize, sucks, Thursday, time, Wednesday, week
Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

0

2 months ago

anything, cauliflower, dream, dreams, food, give, humor, inspiration, motivation, noodle, noodles, pizza, too, want, zucchini
Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

0

2 months ago

alan, Alan Rickman, around, avoiding, die, Die Hard, hard, harry, Harry Potter, humor, movie, night, opinion, potter, rickman, sneaking, tower, unpopular
I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, food, humor, i, love, meet, name, relationship, significant, significant other

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Telegram this month:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

51 shares on X this month:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

13 shares on Slack this month:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

67 shares on Threads this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Breaking via Slack:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Trending via WeChat:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Just landed via TikTok:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Spotted on Discord:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Making waves on TikTok:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Seen just now on Threads:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨